Meditation - Issues of More Control [miniIsis and miniEiko only, maybe others, but ask first plz]

[oppositionwalks]

Control was something she lacked refinement on. Simple spells, or spells that used focuses (Like the Summoning Gate, and so forth), she could do.

But the magic and abilities are intricately tied into her emotional state, that this is incredibly difficult to do under ordinary circumstances.

As such. She, last night, asked Eiko about meditation, and Eiko offered to help teach her. So, after another good shower, and choosing a relatively quiet place, she awaits Eiko's arrival. Currently, Isis is wearing comfortable jeans and a loose shirt. She is, in fact, wearing her bra, although she wasn't last night.

She sits in the grass and waits. She's got her spellbook with her, and is currently reading it.

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[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

Eiko walks out, making a point to not be as quiet as she can be. (it's hard, sometimes, to not be a little sneaky.) She steps around Isis, then drops into a seated position opposite her.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis wouldn't even be able to sense her coming, unless she was specifically doing so, either. She can pick up pings of magic and Ki, but until she actively looks, she only gets a general baring and direction on things, not what, or even always who.

"Hello." She says, as it's polite to greet her teacher, in this case. She closes the spellbook (and it latches shut on its own), and sets it aside. A deep breath, and she asks, "What do I need to know, first?" she rests her hands in her lap as she speaks.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"First.... just breathe. Out and in. Exhale, and in your mind, count to four. Hold for four. Inhale for four. Hold for four. Repeat." She speaks in a low, soft voice.

"You may notice your attention wandering. Note this. Then let the thought that interrupted you go by." She closes her eyes, and starts to breathe - inhaling through her nose, exhaling through her mouth.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

A small nod, closing her eyes, and Isis exhales. One. Two. Three. Four. Inhales. Another four seconds. She mimics Eiko's way of doing it as well, inhaling through her nose, and exhaling through her mouth.

She does note her attention wandering. But she lets the thought pass on by easily.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

Eiko's voice comes, still very soft. "Cease to count. The count is no longer needed, as you know the way to breathe. Cease to think. Thoughts will still occur to you, but let them pass. Until... you... are... empty... and the universe... speaks.... to you...."

Her voice fades as she reaches a point where she, herself, is open. She's the center of a flow of chi energy, moving through her.

She ceases to think and merely... is.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

She listens, but does not respond aloud or in any visible way. It's a weird thing to sense from a mystical standpoint, but as Eiko is saying, she's not to let it distract her.

Clearing one's mind is something she's got a little knowledge on how to do, as her mind has to be clear of all distractions for complicated spells (which she can do a few of, even if they occasionally screw up in the end).

Doing it in this context is difficult, but likely not an impossible task. Just don't be distracted by her own thoughts. Or anything around her.

It might, in fact, be one of those things that just comes and happens, really. There's no other word for it.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

In a very real sense, the first time, it is. You just keep working at it until you find that spot inside you where you can listen, opening yourself up.

Eiko's been doing this for years, so for her, it's easy to find that place. She immerses herself in it.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis doesn't know it yet, but meditation is actually a precursor to many highly advanced spells. Needing the, ah, balance, as well as the clear and fresh mind.

She is, however, still new at doing it through this method. As such it's going to take her longer to find that one place.

However fast a learner she may be, she is quite patient, and will continue to try until she achieves it. She does not let this line of thought distract her either. Just letting herself slowly, but surely become open.

Isis may not even entirely realize when it happens, when it does. It just.. is.

In a related moment like a tree falling in the woods with none around to hear it, perhaps, the spellbook's lock shimmers for a quick instant. There is no sound, or anything else to accompany this, aside from the visual (and unseen by the two girls) effect.

Perhaps one might wonder how closely the spellbook is tied to its owner.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

It is in this state of no-thought, when she enteres it, that Eiko processes many things: her attempts to determine if she's gone mad or is in a coma in a hospital and going to die; her decisions to go to Japan, to not go back, to seek other things; the fact that there is someone who is brought to mind, but is not her, by the speaking of her name to so many people.

They are not resolved - well, the first is, she's neither mad nor in a coma, this is all a working reality - but at least they are processed as things to work on, and carefully stored in her mind.

The slight shimmer attracts attention to her other senses, as the energy shifts, but all she does is note this, and continues on, returning to the state of no-mind. (She once spent an hour in a January rainstorm like this, and came out of it somewhat surprised to be wet. She once was meditating when a rabid raccoon chose, in its diseased state, to attack her; she was equally surprised to come up into concious thought to find it dead.)

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

For Isis, it's an event she's not entirely realizing she's doing (one that she will, however, realize after the fact).

It's a processing of a number of things for her, as well. Her abilities. Why she has them, why they brought her here, and, strangely enough, her mother is also brought to mind.

But also brings a new sort of awareness through her extrasensory ability. She knows where Eiko is, the spellbook, and herself. And she isn't even actively looking for this. Or paying much attention to it right now, for that matter.

It's a bizarre feeling, to someone so new at it. Magic, Chi, ki. All different names for things that are, actually probably all intricately linked. In, natch, a delicate balance.

Or possibly even the same thing.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

Eiko feels the sense of movement: this is not where she will end, just where she is for now. There's little more to learn here, so she begins to withdraw, to return to a state of mind rather than no-mind, and she begins to speak softly.

Unfortunately, it's in Japanese, so Isis doesn't understand a word. But the intent is there, sliding into the place of no-mind and drawing upwards, re-engaging thought, moving through the timeless interior space.

Soon enough, she is just breathing.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis will also realize later that Eiko said something. As it is, she did hear it, but currently miss-assumes that it wasn't intended for her (since it wasn't in English). She'll probably at least ask what it was when they're back in reality, as it were.

Her magic stems from the world around her, and the balance therein, drawing from energies surrounding her to accomplish tasks that can defy science and conventional physics. As well as conventional lines of thought, and senses.

It is probably because of this, why she 'sees' the world differently than Eiko, when in this sort of state. She picks up on the energies, and how they're flowing (however chaotic it may be, as this is the Nexus, that chaos is its own sort of balance and order, as if it was chaos on its own, it would be incomplete).

She can also 'feel', as stated, the individuals around her. What's interesting is that she just knows it's Eiko. Not just from previous knowledge, but that Eiko is just, well. Her own individual in the spectrum of what is a greater balance of all (if anyone else were nearby, Isis would be able to identify them by recognizing them again, even if she doesn't know their name).

Many things continue to pass through her mind, as well. The paths she's taken up to this point, her family, and history. The events of all that have lead up to this.

It's serene. And extraordinarily clear. Like, perhaps. Hi-def.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

Eiko takes a few moments to get used to thinking again (which is harder than it sounds).

"Did it help you at all?" she asks, quietly.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

It takes her a few moments to draw herself back into the normal set of awareness and trains of thought. She blinks a couple of times, getting used to seeing normally again, as well.

"..I think it did." Isis responds quietly, after taking a moment for the words, "It feels clearer and calmer now." And that's about the best word for it, "I can't think of words about what I just did, except that I think it worked. Everything inwardly seems more balanced."

She shifts her sitting position slightly, "I think you said something else, at one point, but I didn't understand what it was..."

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"I was... trying to bring you back to the state you are in, using language, but... I was speaking in Japanese,. You do not speak it. I apologize."

She has her head bowed, hair in front of her face.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

"It's fine." Isis replies softly. "I'm not offended, I just thought weren't speaking to me." She glances to Eiko, possibly meeting her eyes if at all possible (if she stops bowing, anyway), still speaking softly "It's not your fault, I don't think it's either of our faults." The eye meeting is only for a few fleeting moments, as Isis is still somewhat shy about eye contact with people, even if she's comfortable with them (it takes her a while to work past this).

"Either way, I do think it worked. A fact for which I owe you my thanks." And she'll start doing this regularly, as well. It's a calming, and resting feeling for her. A mind-refresher.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"That is good," she says. "I am glad I was able to assist you. I am still not a complete master of my thoughts."

She is still hiding her face. "As you spend time in meditation, it will become easier to achieve the state of no-mind."

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

"I.. don't think I'm a master of mine, either." Isis replies, and it's true. "I think I was lucky to do what I just did. I just.. lost myself in my senses, I think. I'm not sure. It helped, though.."

She fidgets, sheepish. "It does? It was hard to get there, it took more than one attempt to stop paying attention to my thoughts."

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"I have been working on the disciplines for many years. It has taken me a great deal of time to reach where I am at this time." She remains with her head bowed.

"I try each day to hold longer, find new insights."

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis blinks. "Is everything alright?" She asks, quietly, "I haven't done anything to offend you, have I?"

She fidgets with the armband, nervous, afraid that she's done something wrong. She likes Eiko as a friend. She may even have a crush, but she's not entirely sure.

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"I have... just... never... taught anything before. I was... afraid... I would be a complete... failure." The words come haltingly, slowly. "And I... do not... want to be seen as.. failing." The accent is thicker, as if she's pushing the words out.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis blinks, "From what I can see." She says, quiet, soft, and gentle, "You did a good job of explaining it from my view."

Part of her wants to reach out and hug Eiko, but she's hesitant because she's unsure how that'd be accepted.

The next bit comes out after a bit of thought as well, "And I would be honored if you'd continue teaching me this." She fidgets with the armband again, still a bit shy and awkward (perhaps the lack of eye contact makes it easier, at least).

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

"I have no clan... I have no family... in the eyes of others in Japan I am... nothing. It should be... improper for me to teach anything. I should... not... bother anyone."

The openness of her mind has brought this to the surface... and at about the worst time.

[oppositionwalks.livejournal.com]

Isis hears this, and after a moment of internal debate (and if she's not stopped in any way), she's going to hug the other girl. Because it seems like Eiko needs that reassurance, and that it seems like one of those Right Things to do. She's feeling bold, as well, and blushes, but doesn't let go.

"You aren't a bother to me, and you don't seem to be to anyone else." Isis says, while hugging. "I am glad you were willing to help me, extraordinarily so." Because thus far, Isis's learning has been largely on its own, with occasional discussions with her father, regarding his memory on how he remembered her mother using magic.

"And when all else fails." Isis says, quietly, almost to quiet to be heard, "You make a new family, a new start."

[blenderteen.livejournal.com]

She doesn't even move. "In Japan... family is everything. I have none. I have nothing. Everything I have now is just... charity."

It tastes bitter in her mouth.